Licorice-Loving Rodent Threatened By New Neighbors

TundraVole23“There might be tough times ahead for the poor little tundra vole, for example, which will need to elude more foxes, badgers, pine martens, stoats, weasels, polecats, and mink.” [West/Grist]

Thanks to Winnower pal John, I now have a new thing to worry about — the fate of the microtus oeconomus (aka the tundra vole), whose territory might be seeing a 40% increase in predators by 2080.

According to Wikipedia (where I get all my tundra vole news), the tundra vole digs “underground burrows where it stores seeds and roots, especially licorice root, for the winter. The species epithet oeconomus refers to this ‘economical’ behaviour.”


Local Woman Responds To News Of New Neighbor

forgiveness“‘My grandparents were sex offenders and I learnt how to deal with it,’ one woman noted.” [KRON]

This is the sort of statement that begs for a follow-up question, but I guess it wasn’t relevant to the current issue.

Why Can’t You See That Your Dog Is Trying To Tell You Something About Your Boyfriend

“Dear Abby: My boyfriend, ‘Richard,’ and I are a mature couple who have been seeing each other for three years. My dog is the issue.

‘Princess’ weighs 9 pounds and is spoiled. She barks at anyone and anything. Richard can no longer tolerate Princess’ barking and has curbed his visits. Except for this issue, he is my dream guy. I feel Richard should understand my attachment to Princess. Am I being selfish?” [Phillips/UPI via SF Chron]

I have so many questions about this situation! Questions that Jeanne “Dear Abby” Phillips, who phoned it in with a “contact a dog trainer” (is this Abby’s new “consult your clergyman”?) response. But, like, who was in the advice seeker’s (“Won’t Give Up the Pup”) life first — “Richard,” or “Princess”? Did WGUTP intend to make the dog-related pun of “curbed”? (And how could Phillips pass that one up? “‘Princess is the one who needs to be ‘curbed'” etc.)

And why are we ignoring the fact that “Princess” might be trying to tell WGUTP something VERY IMPORTANT about Richard? Everyone knows that dogs display aggression in an effort to protect their guardian.

WGUTP, I’d be looking askance at “Richard,” not at “Princess,” were I you.

Yes, You Need To Watch A Big Trouble In Little China/Gangnam Style Parody Right Now

Until now, I’ve been relatively unmoved by the Gangnam Style craze, in large part because it is no Rhythm is a Dancer, am I right, fellow folks who remember their 90s gay bar experiences?

But I am totally in the tank for this parody, which actually contains an appearance by James Hong, who not only played the baddie in John Carpenter’s San Francisco set classic Big Trouble in Little China, but was the host in the infamous Chinese Restaurant episode of Seinfeld. Did I mention he is 83 years old? James Hong rules!

Tonight’s debate memes, before they happen (By pixplz)

WHO WILL WIN tonight’s important debate between that one dude and that other dude? I can’t predict! However, with help from The Winnower’s resident political soothsayers, I’ve been working hard at seeing into the future of hashtags. First there was this, and then there was this. What will there be next? My vision is still a little murky, but here’s some of what I’ve prognosticated so far:

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Don’t Ride A Manatee, Dummy

“‘God — I just — I can’t believe somebody is riding a manatee,’ stammered Sunshine River Tours owner Michael Millsap when informed of the events at Fort De Soto. ‘That’s just ridiculous.'” [Jamison/Tampa Bay Times]

52-year-old Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez says she didn’t know that it’s illegal to ride a manatee. So, she rode a manatee.