Why Can’t You See That Your Dog Is Trying To Tell You Something About Your Boyfriend

“Dear Abby: My boyfriend, ‘Richard,’ and I are a mature couple who have been seeing each other for three years. My dog is the issue.

‘Princess’ weighs 9 pounds and is spoiled. She barks at anyone and anything. Richard can no longer tolerate Princess’ barking and has curbed his visits. Except for this issue, he is my dream guy. I feel Richard should understand my attachment to Princess. Am I being selfish?” [Phillips/UPI via SF Chron]

I have so many questions about this situation! Questions that Jeanne “Dear Abby” Phillips, who phoned it in with a “contact a dog trainer” (is this Abby’s new “consult your clergyman”?) response. But, like, who was in the advice seeker’s (“Won’t Give Up the Pup”) life first — “Richard,” or “Princess”? Did WGUTP intend to make the dog-related pun of “curbed”? (And how could Phillips pass that one up? “‘Princess is the one who needs to be ‘curbed'” etc.)

And why are we ignoring the fact that “Princess” might be trying to tell WGUTP something VERY IMPORTANT about Richard? Everyone knows that dogs display aggression in an effort to protect their guardian.

WGUTP, I’d be looking askance at “Richard,” not at “Princess,” were I you.

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One thought on “Why Can’t You See That Your Dog Is Trying To Tell You Something About Your Boyfriend

  1. Michele Scanlon

    I had a cat who would fetch. When one boyfriend I had would throw the ball for her, she would bring it back to a chair instead of him. She was right, he was a dick.

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