What Do You Call “Paralyzed Dog”? (by Tim Ehhalt)

Bob Harper’s dog, Karl, does “Roast Chicken”

Those of us who have a dog, or have dogs as pals, know that they all do this weird thing where they flatten their hind legs out behind them.

When we first saw this with our dog we called it “paralyzed.” Duh. “Hello, paralyzed dog!” Eve would say. “Hello!” as Franny dragged her back legs behind her.

One day at Brad’s house, one of his dogs did that and Eve said “Hey, paralyzed dog!” Brad corrected her. “Oh that?” He said “we call that ‘Roast Chicken.'” Even better! THIS was now the new term at our house.

Years later, at a client’s house, her gigantic lab did it. “We call that’The Frog,'” she told me. EVEN MORE better! I had finally hit the holy grail of terms defining ‘paralyzed.’ I so was happy.

A few weeks ago, while at another client’s house, I told her about the evolution of the phrase. Before I could finish, she exclaimed, very matter of factly, “Oh, you’re talking about ‘The Platypus.'”

I’m done. I can die now, I thought.

That is, until I saw this picture of Karl, The Biggest Loser trainer Bob Harper‘s dog.

Now, I wonder what Bob calls paralyzed?

UPDATE: Jill Ivey says “We call it the Superman,” Babe Scanlon says it’s called the “dog splat” in their household. Still no word on what it’s called at Bob Harper’s house.


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